God: So, you ate the fruit of the tree of good and evil, Adam. What’s up? Why did you do it?
Adam: You see God, it was that woman you handed to me. Oh, yeah, she was a really great find, huh? Did you get her in a Dollar Tree? She just handed me the fruit on a silver platter, as if it was some great gourmet treat.
God: Well, okay, but did you eat it?
Adam: What am I to do? Throw it aside? Sure, but she was offering it to me.
God: Uh, Adam, did you know what fruit it was?
Adam: Yeah, but she ate some already, I guessed it was too late. How was I to know that it would cause trouble?
God: You remember what I said, don’t you?
Adam: Yeah, I remember. So?
God: I told you not to eat it or there would be consequences, right?
Adam: But you can’t really hold it to me, after all, it was her fault.
God: Adam, it was your action, not hers. You are to face the consequence of your own action. Now, Eve.
Eve: Mmm hmm.
God: Did you eat of the fruit?
Eve: Well, yeah, but the snake told me to.
God: He did?
Eve: Practically. I was ready to talk about something else—anything else. But that snake want to talk to me about godlike powers and stuff.
God: Did he force you to eat the fruit? Did he put it in your mouth?
Eve: He might as well have. I had to eat it just to get him to shut up. And, besides, he lied to me.
God: Really? What did he say?
Eve: He told me that we wouldn’t die if I ate it. He said it’d be great, like a party in my mouth. I think he’s just got it in for me. He just wanted to see me mess up.
God: I suppose so.
Eve: So, since he’s the one who really messed me up, I won’t have to pay the consequences, will I?
God: Well, did you do it?
Eve: Do what?
God: Eat the fruit?
Eve: Well, yeah, but he goaded me into it…
God: But that doesn’t matter. You will face the consequences of your action, no matter what he did.
Eve: But he’s really the one to blame. Sure, I messed up, but I didn’t really know what I was doing!
God: Didn’t you know the command?
Eve: Yeah, but he got it all confused in my head…
God: Did you know the consequence?
Eve: Yeah, but…
God: No buts. If you knew what you were doing and knew the consequence, then the responsibility is yours. Now Snake. Let’s have a talk.
Snake: You really messed them up, God (hee hee).
God: We’ll see. But first you and I need to talk.
Snake: What? I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t hear anything like “Don’t trick the humans”. You can’t blame me.
God: You did hear what I told them, right.
Snake: Yeah. That’s how I knew how to get ‘em. You just about set them up for me.
God: Really? So you knew you were tricking her all along?
Snake: Sure, no big harm, right? Just wipe ‘em out like you said and you can set someone else up to rule… By the way, I got a good idea who could be in charge…
God: Really, who do you think?
Snake: Somebody whose really wise… can sneak around making sure that no one slips up…
God: I suppose you think I ought to promote you.
Snake: Yeah, I found those two hypocrites for you. You should thank me.
God: Look, all you are doing is trying to divert attention away from the evil you did.
Snake: I didn’t do nothin’. It’s their own fault for messing up.
God: But you “set them up”.
Snake: Yeah, but they deserved it.
God: And you deserve what you get. Putting someone in the circumstance to sin is also a sin. Especially if you know that you’re doing it. And you knew that already.
Snake: What do you mean?
God: You aren’t getting promoted. You’re going down. Let’s lose those legs.
Snake: Hey, wait a minute, I liked those legs—they were my best legs. They were my only legs!
God: And just to let you know, pretty soon your going to lose your head, too.
Snake: Oh, I don’t like that.
God: I bet. But your actions have consequences. Every evil does. Which reminds me. Eve?
Eve: Yeah…
God: There’s no more paradise for you. You will have children, and one of your children will crush the snake. But there’s going to be pain in giving birth and in raising your kids.
Eve: Really?
God: Really. And Adam?
Adam: What?
God: There’s pain for you, too. Pain in all your work, every day.
Adam: I knew that you didn’t really care for me. You never liked me at all, did you?
God: Look, Adam. I gave you this garden, which is perfect. And I set you up for life—forever! But you chose to spit in my face. Yeah, perhaps you guys were too focused on each other, instead of Me. If you’d focused on me, you never would have despised me. But now it’s too late. I suppose you’ll think it’s my fault for the rest of your lives—as short as they will be. And you will teach blame and hatred to your children. They will blame each other for their own action and they will hate each other because they blame and are being blamed. And then they’ll kill each other. But I will always keep some who will focus on me. Those who focus on me will admit their faults. They will accept their responsibility. And then they’ll ask for forgiveness. And you know what—I’ll give it to them. I don’t want to kill anyone. But I will do what I say. And Adam?
Adam: Yeah, what?
God: That’s why you’re still in charge of my creation.
Adam: Really?
God: Yeah. I made a promise, and I will keep it. Forever. But still, you’ll have to leave the garden. It won’t be easy street anymore, guys. You wanted to be on your own, make decisions on your own. So you will. I won’t bother you unless you want me to. If you want mercy, forgiveness and opportunity for life, then come back to me.
Adam: Alright, God. That’s enough. Come on, Eve. We know when we’re not wanted. We can figure things out ourselves. No matter what God says. It’s all his fault anyway. He started this whole thing.
God: (sigh)
When we blow it, focus on God, not on other people.
When someone else blows it, look for their repentance, not punishment.
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