God is our Father. God has reached out and touched our souls, giving each the breath of life. God holds us together, keeping us alive. God empowers us with strength and allows us to do good. Every good we have ever received came ultimately from God. And so we rightfully thank God, for all He has been to us.
All God wanted from us in return is our love. God desires our devotion, not just our worship, but our heart of gratefulness and joy to be in Him. God gave us all we had in order to be in relation with us. God desired to sit long hours with us, to bask in our company. We are not sure why, for often we cannot even endure our own presence, but God desired us more than we do ourselves. He longed for love and intimacy that only we could give.
Yet when has so much been given for so little in return, only to have the true Lover spurned and despised? Oh no, we do not hate God. We cater to Him, and so we sing our little songs and attend our little churches and express our little devotions. But He cannot endure them, because He knows that though our lips express longing, our hearts are distant from Him. Not only because our busyness has crowded Him out of our lives. No, because of the sorrows we have poured on Him.
God has let it be known to us how it must be if we are to live with Him. We must be people of faithfulness, people of love. We must walk in justice and our hearts must overflow with mercy. We must have integrity and grace. We know the life we must live to be with Him. And yet we refuse it. And yet we constantly reject being the people whom God asks us to be so we can have intimacy with Him.
God understands. We are people of the world. The world is corrupt, and some of that corruption rubs off, sometimes. But what God sees, that we do not, is that the world is corrupt because of our action and inaction. The world is separated from heaven because we are separated from God. As long as we allow the little fears, the little injustices, the little infidelities, the little judgments, the little greeds, the petty rejections, the furies of passion that destroy those around us become our lifestyle—then the world will not only remain corrupt, but will become more and more corrupt daily. Should the salt of the earth become unsalted, what hope is there for the earth?
Us being part and parcel of the evil—yes, let’s call it what it really is, the damned evils of this world—means that we are not a part of God. And so God remains lonely. He is alone in heaven, surrounded by the angels, lonely, without the love of humanity. We, His created partners, have rejected Him, because the ways of the world are more real to us than He is. We have accepted that which we know is separating us from God, because we love our comfort more than we love Him, our Father, who gave us all things.
He is there, waiting. He awaits for us. We cannot know just how much He loves us. He calls to us, daily, begging for us to surrender our petty evils and to return to embrace Him. And this is what we want as well. We hear his call, and we long for Him. We fall before Him, beg for forgiveness and then we get up and return to the evils of our lives. Never forsaking them. Never turning away from them. Longing for them, even as our lips speak confession.
See God the Father, alone in His study, wishing for our company. Beside Him, ever before Him, is His Son who died for our sins. The crucified Jesus, wounds still bleeding for us, dripping on the floor, the pool of his suffering growing larger. Jesus died for us, his sufferings meant to fill our separations—every one of them—if we would but break from them and embrace Him.
Can we turn from the world to embrace the Son? Can we run from our evils to go to the Father who waits? All of His resources are ours, every grace that He provides is waiting to be poured into our lives. Because of Jesus’ death, we need not fear death, nor the lack of survival. God will help us survive. Because of Jesus’ death, we need not fear injustice, for God promises true justice for us. Because of Jesus’ suffering, we need not fear a lack of mercy, for God pours out mercy upon us as a waterfall pours water.
Kneel in the puddle of Jesus’ suffering. Accept it, receive it. Embrace the Son, kiss his wounds. Put your hand in his side and make His suffering your own. To separate from the world, to deny the very self that is knit tight with evil, we must bleed with the suffering of Jesus, our very flesh being torn from us, until we die.
Mourn, cry out to Him who loved us so. Weep because of the separation that you, you yourself caused. Let Him know of the sorrow you felt. Let him know how weak you were—how weak you are. Confess to Him with all your heart how you long to be with Him, how you thirst for Him like no other beverage. That you desire Him deeper than your most joyful experience. That He is the fulfillment of your greatest needs.
For this sorrow, this mourning, this suffering is the seed of the greatest joy. Through your tears of sorrow come tears of joy. Through your surrender comes the greatest gain. It is though dying to this world—the destruction of the plans, distractions and comforts of this world—that we can obtain our greatest satisfaction.
Only in the surrender of all in the presence of God can we obtain the greatest joy.
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