Chastity

What is Chastity?
Chastity is an old word—hardly anyone uses it anymore. We live in such a sexually-charged society we prefer terms such as “safe sex” or even “abstinence”—which speak of the dangers of open sexual contact, but still leave wide opportunity for sexual lust to dominate one’s mind and life. Chastity is reflective of the standard of Jesus, who said, “Everyone who looks at the opposite sex with lust has already committed adultery in heart.” Chastity is avoiding sexual immorality in one’s heart—to remain pure not only in body, but in mind.

Chastity has five aspects to it:
1. Refusing to participate in adultery or sexual immorality
This means no sexual intercourse outside of marriage, as well as no incestuous or same-sex unions. Refusing to participate in sexual speech or contact

2. Refusing to participate in sexually immoral speech or contact
To speak of sexual immorality as a normal part of life or to participate in activity that will lead to sexual immorality is also displaying our sexual desire, and so making us abhorrent to God.

3. Running away from sexually tempting situations
Scripture says to “flee immorality” (I Corinthians 6:18). It is not enough just to avoid the situations. We have to recognize that our ability to refuse sexual immorality weakens over time. So we need to run away from any situations which will weaken our resolve to be sexually pure before God.

4. Not thinking of sexual situations with one who does not belong to you
Chastity is not only a matter of body, but of mind. One’s mind is the seed of all actions, and so we must keep our minds pure from sexual immorality, or else our bodies will follow. This also means avoiding things that will lead us to evil thoughts, such as pornography or sexually-charged media, such as some movies.

5. Not thinking of marriage to one whom you cannot have
Chastity doesn’t only have to do with sex, but also possession. Marriage is mutual possession (I Corinthians 7:4), and so to desire, or “covet” someone who is already in a bond with another is also breaking that marriage in one’s mind.

How to be Chaste, Though Married
Many people think that chastity is only for religious singles, like monks, nuns or priests. However, chastity is just as much for the married, and is just as difficult, in a different way. While the married may participate in sexual activity with their spouse, all restrictions still apply to anyone else. If anything, this is, in a way, more difficult, for sexual activity must be strictly channeled. Not only does one need to not participate sexually with anyone else, but any thought of “I wish I had married someone else” must vanish from one’s mind. Commitment is set in stone for life, and there is no opportunity for turning back.

There is one great help, though, in marriage, which is that one’s spouse can become a good partner to keep one diligent in purity. If one has difficulties maintaining purity, then be accountable to one’s spouse. While this is difficult at first, it is easier than trying to explain to one’s spouse why you had an affair later on. One last help that the married can have is regular sex with one’s spouse. If you have the opportunity for release before God, then take it, and do not allow arguments or displeasure keep you from what God appointed you to have with your spouse (I Corinthians 7:2-5).

Maintaining chastity
Chastity isn’t easy in the midst of a society that loves to focus on sex and encourage sexual thoughts. Even if we destroy our televisions and

Commitment to chastity
Job said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look at a woman with lust.” (Job 31:1) Often, especially if we have participated in the past with sexual immorality, we need to make such a covenant with the Lord to remain chaste. One form of such a covenant is: “Lord, make me blind. May my eyes be cast down in humility. May my eyes be cast down in prayer. May my eyes be cast down in shame. Eyes, I make a covenant with you: See my Lord alone or see nothing; Look to glory or look not.”

Constant diligence over one’s mind
Take great care of what you allow to enter your mind through your eyes or ears. To allow images or thoughts to grow in one’s mind is slow death. We need to watch over ourselves to remain pure.

Keeping busy with things that don’t attack you
One of the best defenses against sexual immorality is working to benefit others. To remain constantly busy for God’s work is to allow oneself to be focused on everything, but the sinful action or thoughts.

Meditation
We need to meditate on what is good, pure, holy and righteous, to replace what we used to think about. We could read Scripture and focus on that, or read Christian literature. A bit more to the point, however, is that we can meditate on the consequences of our sin. If we think about what would happen if we persist in sin, we are more likely to not deceive ourselves and to stay away from it.

Prayer
To maintain purity, we cannot stand alone. We need help. We need to cry out to God so He can deliver us. One prayer that I prayed every time an impure thought came up is:
Purify my heart
Purify my soul
Purify my mind
Purify my speech

Accountability
We need not only God’s help, but others as well. We need to find at least one other follower of Jesus (not an unbeliever) who can help us maintain our purity. Again, if one is married, one’s spouse might be suited for this—or perhaps not. One way or another, we need to find someone who can help us and not judge us in when we fall, but encourage us to live and good deeds.

Release from spirits of sexual immorality
If we seem to not be able to control our thoughts, we might be attacked by Satan. If we have a bondage to sexual lust, then we should get together with another brother or sister and command such spirit to go. If attacked by persistent thoughts in this way, you might want to command Satan to leave you alone.

Fasting
If you are still unable to control yourself, a breakthrough may happen if you fast. Fasting not only indicates that your prayers are desperate before God but it also communicates to your body that you will not give your body everything it wants. It offers the opportunity for your spirit to control the normal desires of the body.