Why Doesn't God Answer My Prayer?

Have you ever had a time when you were praying, but it seemed as if God was distant? Perhaps this was your own feeling, or perhaps you had something to really base that feeling on. If we pray at all, there will be times that we know that God isn’t answering our prayer. Doesn’t he promise to deliver us from our troubles, doesn’t he look at our sorrows and wipe them away? Then why are we still living in them?

When we are going through difficulties, and we cry out to God, but God doesn’t seem to be answering, then we could be looking for blame. And either we will blame God or blame ourselves. If we blame God, we may think that He doesn’t really care about us. Or perhaps he doesn’t understand what we are going through. Or perhaps He isn’t as strong as we were led to believe. Maybe God doesn’t actually exist at all, but we are just praying to thin air.

At other times, we might look at ourselves and think that we are not good enough for God. Maybe we don’t belong to the right church, or something in the past is displeasing to God. Perhaps God doesn’t like our family or the community in which we live. Maybe we didn’t pray the right words or in the right manner.

Be confident
According to God’s word, all of these tracks are the wrong way to look at it. God doesn’t care about whether we pray correctly, our past or our community. And God DOES care about us and our troubles. He will listen to us, no matter what we’ve done or how separated from Him we were. God is also powerful enough to do whatever He wants.

And yet, still, God often will not answer our prayers. He listens, but does not act. He pays attention, but we do not receive what we want. Why is this? Why doesn’t prayer just work when we want it to? According to the Bible, there are a number of different reasons why our prayers may not be answered—why God may ignore our requests. Not all of them are easy to hear, but we should look at them carefully, to see if any of them apply to us:

Prayer requires a relationship with God
Maybe, for some reason, our prayers really are blocked. Maybe God knows our requests, but He isn’t going to answer us now. This would be because something is blocking our relationship with God. God is attentive to everyone, but some people have issues that God cannot see, for He is a pure God and cannot abide impurity. There are certain things that people do that will stop any communication between them and God. Some of the things that are mentioned is: Not meeting the needs of those under one’s authority (such as children, wives or employees); living a sexually immoral lifestyle; to cheat in business; those who cause strife between people; and those who tell lies in God’s name. As well, God will reject those who refuse to listen to his Son, Jesus, who is Lord over the earth. God does not listen to these people, nor will listen to their prayers.

If we are caught up in any of these lifestyles or if we refuse to listen to Jesus, then the answer is simple—we need to repent and change our ways. God will listen to our prayer, but only if our prayer is: “Father, I was wrong, please forgive me.” We need to admit that we were in a bad place, and we want to be different people, people to whom God will listen. We need to ask God for help to change our lives and to focus on His ways. If we do, then God will listen to our prayers and answer them. This is devotion, this is faith in God and trust in his ways.
(I Peter 3:7; I Corinthians 6:9-10; Proverbs 6:16-19; Deuteronomy 25:13-16; John 15:7; John 5:38; Acts 2:38)

Prayer requires the right motive
Another thing we look at when we pray is the reason we pray. James says: “You ask and you do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives—You ask in order that you may obtain your own pleasures.” (James 4:3). Many of us pray because of our own needs, our own wants. We don’t pray because of what is really right, but because we feel a certain way and think that only one thing will help us, and so we see God as a wishing well, who will give us whatever we desire.

However, Scripture is clear that when we pray it is not our own desires or motivation that we need to be looking at, but God’s. The Lord’s prayer is unique in that the first three requests are prayers for God, not for humans. Psalm 37:4 says that if we put God’s desires first in our heart, then God will give us whatever we want—not because we want it, but because we are reflecting God’s will. Prayer is not about getting what we want, but about God establishing his justice and mercy on the world for everyone.

Prayer is about Giving God Sovereignty
At the creation of the world, God gave each human rule over the earth and over themselves. However, He made it clear that we are to remain under His authority and listen to His choices. The truth is, however, that usually we make our own choices, apart from God’s recommendations and so we establish our own control over our lives. God loves us and wants to help us, but He also respects our choices and will not stand against them. Sometimes we are praying for God to deliver us from ourselves, from our own choices that we are still making. But God will not do this, for to do this is to make Him unfaithful to His promise that we are in charge of our lives.

If we wish to have God’s help, despite ourselves, we need to turn ourselves over to Him. We can pray, but it is a prayer of surrender to God’s control and a desire to reject our past choices. If we completely surrender ourselves to Jesus, and make him Lord over our lives, then God will begin to change our own wills, our own choices to make us a better ruler over ourselves, with His help. (Romans 12:1-2; Psalm 8; Judges 10:10-16)

Prayer Sometimes Takes Time
But perhaps we are in a good relationship with God. Perhaps, as far as the Bible says, God really is listening and we are praying prayers that He agrees with—maybe even prayers that He commanded us to pray! Why, then, are there many prayers that aren’t answered. If God wants them prayed for, shouldn’t he answer them quickly?

Of course he should. But some prayers just take time to answer. God often is not rejecting our request, but is waiting for the right time to answer it with action. Prayers are not microwave popcorn—put it in the oven and four minutes later, boom, there it is. Prayer is about God’s timing and what is best for everyone. Sometimes our timing is not God’s timing, but it doesn’t mean that He’s forgotten.

So what can we do? Many just stop praying because “God knows what I need and I don’t want to bug him about it.” Yes, God knows what we need, but he wants us to keep bugging him about it. If we don’t stop praying about something—once an hour, once a day, or once a week, depending on the request—but keep on praying, it shows that we haven’t forgotten about the issue and we still trust that God will resolve it. (Luke 11:5-10; II Peter 3:8-9)

Prayer Sometimes Isn’t Answered How We Like
God always sees our need. God always wants to answer prayer. But sometimes God doesn’t answer us in the way we expect. Perhaps we expect God to just take away our suffering and pain. Perhaps we expect God to give us the certain thing we need to meet our needs. And then it doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t.

Does this mean that he didn’t answer our prayer? Suppose my child comes up to me and says, “Daddy, I’m really hungry—could you go out and get me some candy to eat?” Of course, I know that a rock isn’t what my child needs, so I get him good food instead. Maybe she will cry because I didn’t give her what she wanted, but I know a little better about what kind of food is best for her. This is how God acts with us. He knows better what we need. Sometimes we think that God is ridiculous, and God just needs to listen to what we want—but He refuses to give us what is bad for us.

If we are in difficulties and it seems that God isn’t answering our prayer, then we need to just trust in God. God is the one who knows what is best for us, and will give us what is best. Sometimes what is best for us comes in the form of difficulties or problems or temptations that we just want to go away. But God is the one who loves us more than we love ourselves, and so will help us in accord with what we need, not according to our childish requests. (Luke 11:11-13: Hebrews 12:5-11; James 1:13-17; II Corinthians 12:7-9)

Trust in God and He will give us what is good—always.